An etherealgirl's Adventures in Cyberland

Friday, June 09, 2006

when values and convictions collide

Once again, my favourite astrologer April Elliott Kent has written an essay that mirrors my own life experience so completely: The Shallow End of the Pool. I've got a Sag signature (stretching across my 9th House and MC) and a Gemini Moon in my own natal chart that probably explains why.

It sounds as though she has been able to hold her tongue in check far more successfully than I've ever been able to, but nevertheless, I can relate completely to that disquieting feeling that follows stressful encounters of the friend and family kind; you know, when otherwise perfectly decent people, people that you love and respect and care about, start saying things you can't believe you are hearing and you find yourself wishing that what you are hearing is not coming out of their precious little mouths. Blood pressures rise, heart beats fast and furiously and something akin to temporary insanity tends to pervade the participants' airspace. And you find yourself standing there, looking at someone who looks and sounds more like an alien than someone you love and trust in the every day, mundane world.

On those fairly rare occasions that I've been able to manage to hold my tongue, for the very reasons she has so eloquently stated, I feel as though I've betrayed myself by not being forthcoming and standing up for what I believe in.

The consequences of opening my mouth, however, has resulted in the equally painful experience of bad, bad feelings for everyone involved.

All in all, it is a completely unsatisfactory compromise and I've yet to successfully learn how to find a balancing middle between the two responses. Still, there's plenty of food for thought to be found in this lovely essay.

Posted by etherealfire :: 2:09 AM :: 2 Comments:

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