Monday, March 27, 2006

hidden persephone

Persephone is the goddess archetype that I have always related to the most. At this point in my life, I identify most with the Triple Goddess aspect in its entirety but because the 8th house plays such a pivotal role in my natal chart, I've found that all aspects of the Persephone/Demeter theme has resonated with me throughout my life.

So when I followed this link I was very curious to find out where the asteroid Persephone would wind up in my chart. I guess I was a bit surprised to find her in my 3rd house of communication and early life. But then again, maybe not:

Third House: we may be too timid to speak up for ourselves, and consequently let others do our talking for us

Obviously anyone who has a blog must at least be attempting to overcome some of that; but then again, that may be a big part of working that Persephone out.

My whole life I've been in love with words, with language, the very art of communication. I'm a frustrated writer and a terribly maudlin poet (no one ever sees it because it truly is bad, in the very most trite sense of the word).

I can taste words, smell them, feel them intensely. I love to sing words; lyrics have always meant as much to me as the beauty of a tune. I write in journals, on scrap paper, on the back of envelopes, any free potentially writable surface I can find.

Many is the morning I wake up still half asleep, but full of have baked conversations going on in my head. This, by the way, is an extremely aggravating problem and one of the reasons I thrive on shutting down regularly and giving in to those meditative moments... I simply have to find a way to shut myself up, even in my scattered head.

Maybe it makes sense that the thing that I love the most is the very thing that I have felt, many times in my life, the most completely inadequate at doing well. Natal charts often have patterns that repeat the same themes, and one hint at confirmation of this well-placed Persephone is the location of my natal Saturn conjunct Mercury ~ right on my Midheaven ~ 10th House of Career/Public Life. Saturn can't help but try to put a lid on Mercury's motor mouth (especially early in life) and without question there has been a very good reason for it. Saturn conjunct Mercury is an invitation to learn to speak wisely and discerningly. While I hardly think I'm there yet, I think maybe I'm beginning to get there at this late date in my life; at least, enough to consider this aspect a gift of a lesson for one who might otherwise potential abuse, or misuse those words I obsessively/compulsively love so very much.

As I thought back to my early childhood, it struck me that this Gemini Persephone of mine forms a fairly close conjunction with my maternal grandmother's Gemini Sun. She was an incredible woman, and without doubt, one of the earliest inspirations to my love of words. She was witty, and clever; she was a great storyteller and a wonderful singer. And... at times, she could be incredibly intimidating. Her criticism could cut you like a knife, so razor sharp and on target. The fact that I was a small child and I idolized her played no small role in this but I suddenly can see very clearly how Persephone might come into play here.

Just an observation. But it never ceases to amaze me how my chart works for me so well, in pointing out archetypes and impressions of events that made their mark on me, for better and worse....... and for better!!!

I don't think it is any accident that I was gifted with a clever, sharp tongued grandmother who loved words and language and expression as much as I do. And I really believe that everything, even the moments of self-imposed inadequacy I felt in her presence, (and please know there were many, many more beautiful moments, and I love her dearly and cherish every one of them) were lessons and experiences I really needed.

Learning to think before speaking has been a life long struggle... sometimes. Learning to speak when it was easier to be silent has often been another one. My emotions have always ruled my responses or non-responses to situations and my emotions have never been dependable, particularly since they are utterly subjective and prone to over-sensitivity. Without Saturn to temper them, to bring some common sense and stability to any given situation, I may have had an even harder struggle with communication than I already had. Many is the time that my emotional overwrought Gemini Moon over-ruled my much needed Sag Saturn/Mercury caution, but that's a classic opposition in action, if ever there was one. And so the struggle continues, and no doubt will to my dying day. But that's what life is all about.

This hidden Persephone speaks to my own personal, lifelong struggle, my Jihad, to find the perfect balance between what's better left unsaid and what needs to be heard.

Note to my fellow astrology buffs or anyone curious about finding out where their personal Persephone is located: the asteroid Persephone is 399 in the asteroid scale. If you want to find out where she resides in your chart, you can get a free account at the wonderful Astrodienst.com and when you have input your data to create your basic natal chart details you can head over to the page where you can create a chart and choose "extended chart Selection. Once there, you just choose natal chart wheel (which is the default option) and leave the chart style and house system on default and head down towards the bottom where there is a box next to the words:

additional asteroids or "hypothetical" planets (please enter the numbers from the respective lists, e.g. "433,1221,h48")

and just type in the number 399 and then scroll back up a bit again and click on the button that says

click here to show the chart

and the chart will show you which house Persephone is located.
Posted by etherealfire :: 11:02 PM :: 0 Comments:

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